1st to 4th of April, 2023.
It has been almost 3 months since I am in India. Everything is so different of what I was expecting. What was I expecting? I don’t really know, but certainly it is different.
Today I felt inspired to write again. What a wonderful feeling! People keep telling me I should make videos of my travels, and start a vlog. I could never feel this great about making videos. There is something special, something magical about writing. When I am writing, I can hear myself dictating the words in my head. It is as I am in my own movie.
After a few days of feeling sad, and only having some relief of my sorrows by answering emails of my friends from Brazil, today I felt great about my travels again. Was it the rain that, just as in Lagaan, brought a wave of happiness and hope? The extremely hot and humid weather of Andhra Pradesh it has definitely a strong influence on my bad and lazy mood. Or was it the fact that I made plans of extending my travels, going back to West and possibly visiting Pakistan and Afghanistan? I have been dreaming of going there since I read Full Tilt, and today I have found a blog of a lady who has also travelled solo there, plus in Iraq also, with her motorbike. No matter what reason, I am feeling like writing!
Walking through the rocky bad streets of Mangalagiri today, I felt as I was all over in Tanzania again. But the roads here are still better than there. I miss Africa. And now I can tell for sure that India is not like Africa, as so many people have told me before. Africa will always have a special place in my heart.
Here is the first place, since Georgia, where I can see pigs and piglets running free on the streets.
It is a bit difficult to describe how I am feeling about Andhra Pradesh, Mangalagiri and the orphanage. Yesterday I had even decided that I would not come back here again, to do my longer volunteer work. Which is really sad because the whole India Travel Plan turned around coming here, to this orphanage.
The initial plan was to leave after a few days, due to my 90 days almost being running out, and I still need to hitchhike all the way to Nepal; and coming back after one month in Nepal, to do some proper 20 days in the orphanage. But now I have changed my mind. It is mostly because of the weather. I cannot cope with this heat! The lack of sleeping at night, due to the same reason, is another factor. But it is also a bit because of the team. They are not as enthusiastic about the project, and the children, as I expected. But then it might be just as they are, right? It was not different in Africa where, sometimes, the lack of care and kindness towards the children actually it scared me. Not that it is the case in here, they treat the children normally, but I think I was just expecting a bit more of tenderness. Perhaps it is because, in my head, I leave in a Utopic world.
The children are great! They are very curious, playful and obedient. Discipline is strict and they follow it well. Even though they are less than I thought, I still cannot divide myself equally among all of them. But I try.
The house where I stay is big and quite modern for India standards. The owners leave in the U.S.A. and they lent it to Anil to host the volunteers, for free. I knew it would be something like these before I came, and I thought I would like it, but actually I don’t. After have seeing where the children stay, and the house of Mary (the young girl who stays here to cook and help me), I feel actually quite bad for staying here. If it wasn’t for the weather, I would rather stay at the orphanage or with Mary. She is great! She also smiles and try to do everything for me. I let her cook and do the dishes, but not my laundry.
The orphanage was created 10 years ago. They don’t have support from the government, only from locals, who privately contribute either financially or with groceries. But they have huge expenses with rent and other bills, so they still need lots of support. Most of the children stay almost the entire day at school, but the ones who still don’t have an ID (mostly the small ones) remain at the orphanage.
Helping at the orphanage are Anil’s sister, Swona, and her husband, Vankut, plus another local lady. The older girls also help and Blessy, the oldest and the first children they took in, a lovely girl with beautiful and strong features, helps then a lot too. I cannot stop thinking what a wonderful and powerful woman she could have become, if she had had more opportunities. Blessy could have easily become the next female golden medal on wrestling to India.
I will see how things go with the time. Another reason why would be challenging to come back is because of the monsoons. I have to be reasonable and do the right thing, even though if that means I cannot come back. If that is the case, I will have to make peace with myself and move on.
10 Years Around the World 