2nd to 17th of February, 2023.
Volunteer work in India.
I know that my expectations about doing a volunteer work in a Buddhist Temple were completely different of what I had in Dharamshala, but it doesn’t matter. Everything happens for a reason, and my 15 days in this little paradise were so amazing, that I wouldn’t change a thing. But I would love to stay longer, that’s for sure.
The views are breathtaking! We have about 200° views of the majestic Himalayas, so close that you feel as you can almost touch them; and the remaining views are flat land which can give us an extraordinary sunset every day. Well, almost every day. There is a peace in the air that I cannot explain. I feel really great here!
I wake up every morning before sunrise. Even though there is nothing going on, and I don’t have to wake up at 4 a.m. (as in some other Buddhist Monasteries / Nunneries, mostly when it is not winter), I just feel as it is the right thing to do. During the first few days, I am unable to enter the library and get books about Buddhism, so early morning I am just writing; and during the rest of my free time, I am planning my journey through India.
The breakfast is amazing! A delicious sour dough bread (for my total delight, of course), homemade peanut butter and tahini, homemade jams and natural honey, plus coffee and plenty of tea. And also, every day they have a different dish together with all of this. The options normally are poha, porridge, or boiled eggs. I didn’t feel like having coffee while here, so every morning I have some herbal tea.
Right after breakfast I start painting. It is a very tricky job because I am to paint the galvanized wire and the poles. That’s the “fence”. It doesn’t only take a lot of time but also a lot of patience. Which, luckily, I have. Plus, I feel great doing something that is useful and nobody else would do it if wasn’t for me. Sangmo told me that, because she doesn’t have the time to do it, she would have to hire someone, but she doesn’t like doing that.
After completing my five hours of painting, I go for my walks. Even though is a bit tricky because of the strayed dogs (unusually, just like in Turkey, they can be in the edge of aggressive), I enjoy walking through the wheat and rice fields, with the amazing Himalayas as background.
When I finally manage to get some books in the library, Sangmo herself help me out with what to choose. They are almost all about Buddhism for beginners, but also, they are written by Dalai Lama, which I think it is a great advantage of Buddhism: you can have access to the words of its spiritual leader. I also choose one book by the Tibetan Monk Chatral Rinpoche, called Compassionate Action, and I really liked! Honestly, it is actually my favourite among all the books I read.
Luckily for me, I didn’t place my search for knowledge about Buddhism only on the books. Just before I came to Thosamling Nunnery, a retreat was finished, and some of the participants remained here. Lovely Tarina is one of them, and Venkat is another. All of them are very nice, but after hearing my story briefly, Venkat gets interested on it and we start chatting. Because he has been studying and practicing Buddhism for quite a while, he became one of my sources for questions. I mean, answers…
Another lovely soul living in Thosamling is Saheli. She is not a nun per se, but she studies and follow the Buddhist path of life. She even shaves her hair just like me. Saheli is a wonderful artist and her paintings are stunning!
The three of us, occasionally, sit and talk about Buddhism. As always, I have lots of questions but they all come naturally to me, it is not like I am trying to be an inquisitee person, I am just genuinely curious about things which I don’t know. Unfortunately, for many people (and this can be even more true when it comes to people with religious beliefs) the nature of my questions is nihilism, which is so not true! I believe in so many things, mostly in human beings and our own energy; what we can do with it; what we are capable of it. And certainly, I believe that life has a meaning. I just don’t believe that this meaning has to be related to religion or anything beyond ourselves. Our life can be a purpose in itself. Isn’t that possible?
Another unfortunate point is that I start to disagree with certain things in Buddhism. As many other religions and forms of government, which have positive points but are not all good, Buddhism also has some facts with which I disagree. These facts been about gender equality, ranks hierarchy, different strands of Buddha’s scriptures, the scriptures themselves, lack of commitment to the scriptures by its followers, etc. It is a bit disappointed because I had hope that Buddhism could give me some sort of guidance into the spiritual world. Which probably did but just not as much as I thought it would.
In conversation / interview with Venkat (he asked me if he could record one of our conversations, for a project which he has, about meeting people and their beliefs), I get to discover some things about myself too. When he asks me what is that I like to do the most, and out of blue I answer “to learn”. Venkat also tells me that, many of my principles, and my life style, are similar to Buddhist principles. Funny fact is that they all came naturally to me, way before I knew anything about Buddhism.
I also participate of a funny experiment with Saheli. She interviews some friends and post the videos on Youtube. The topics vary but she always connects them to art. I had so much fun doing the video and I loved the result! Check it out here: https://youtu.be/BgMbYKyYBc0
With time passing, I get closer to Sangmo and start seeing her with different eyes. Whoever she has become, I am sure it was the result of a difficult life, full of struggles and fights to be fought. We chat more often and I grow very fond of her. And I like to think that the same it happened with her towards me.
I also get attached to another nun, Jamyoung, who comes to spend some time with us while restoring the paintings of Deities inside the temple. Talking to her, I get to know much about what is going on inside a nun’s head. Of course, as she reminds me, each and every one of them has different thoughts and perception about a nun’s life. But I do feel a strong connection with her and, funnily enough, with her ideas as well.
After I finish with the fence, I also paint the floor of the library. But first, we moved all the books to another place. That was an interesting task!
When I come to tell Sangmo that I will leave soon, she seems truly surprised. Even though I’ve been here for only two weeks, it seems much longer. In a good way, of course. I wish I could stay longer. This place is so amazing and peaceful, and I loved here with all my heart.
Sangmo tells me she appreciates my work and my effort. I am not very good on receiving complements. It always makes me uncomfortable. But coming from her, from someone with such strength and background, it made me feel good about myself.
In the morning of my departure, Sangmo gives me some treats she made for me. They are dark chocolate and peanuts candies. “It is for the trip!” – she says. My heart break into pieces by this act of love from her. We came all the way from me being scared to death of her, and her strong, rigid semblant, when we first met, to this extremely kind and tender act of care.
“Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
Life is full of surprises.
10 Years Around the World 